


if i could fall into the sky

by ilokheimsins



Series: If I Could Turn Back Time [1]
Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, F/M, Harry dies multiple times, M/M, So much angst, Sorry Not Sorry, everyone dies a bit actually, suicide warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-17
Updated: 2015-05-29
Packaged: 2018-03-31 01:40:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3959632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilokheimsins/pseuds/ilokheimsins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eggsy doesn't get very many second chances but you'd best believe he takes the most out of each one that he does get.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. the first time hurts the worst

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a Groundhog Day AU. Keep in mind that I've never actually watched the movie and "guy does the same day over and over again" is the limit of my understanding of it.
> 
> But I did math and research to make sure everything I wanted to fit in actually fit into the 24 hr timeline! Which is more research than I did for a uni project worth an actual percentage of my grade.
> 
> I've learned several things in this process that you all might find interesting.
> 
> 1\. Valentine's hideout is located in Russia.  
> 2\. Kentucky has two timezones inside it.  
> 3\. There is a 4 hour time difference between London and Kentucky (where I presumed the church to be) and a 2 hour difference between Valentine's hideout and London.

Eggsy wakes like a crackshot, jerking out of the bed and clawing his way out from between the sheets.  His heart is pounding a like a rapid-fire machine gun and it takes him a moment to realize that he’s not in the soft lit cell curled around Tilde, breathing in the soft scent of her hair.  He’s in a dark room that’s almost pitch black with only a reddish glow from the numbers on the alarm clock to keep it from achieving that status.

11:43.

Eggsy holds himself still, breathing until his heart doesn’t feel like it’s racing away from him.  Everything feels slightly detached as he moves to where he can see the faint outline of a curtain and shoves it open.  It’s broad daylight outside, the familiar cloudy grey of London greeting him.  Eggsy can see the mews that Harry’s house is located in.  The taxi that he jacked earlier from the estate is there and Eggsy stumbles back from the window, nearly tumbles back onto the bed when his legs hit it.

“It’s a bad dream, bruv,” Eggsy whispers to himself as he staggers around the edge of the bed.  But everything feels a little too real, from the way that stupid fourth step down creaks as he pounds down the stairs to the way each and every goddamn butterfly in Harry’s bathroom collection is crystal clear.

Eggsy laughs and it’s weak.  Sickly.  Terrified.

He scrabbles at the newspapers Harry has piled by the fireplace, his hands trembling as he picks up the one on top.  It takes him a few tries before his brain actually comprehends the words in front of him.

Friday, February 13th.

Eggsy stares at the paper for a long moment.  He remembers, clear as anything, Harry yelling at him about the dog test, Harry fucking off to Kentucky, Harry dying.

Harry dying.

He remembers the rest of it too.  The way he shoved everything down and killed Chester King and shoved his feelings back down again when he’d looked in the mirror and saw there was automatically a place to his left for Harry in the mirror.  He remembers fighting Gazelle and stabbing Valentine.  He remembers sleeping with Tilde.

None of which fucking explains why he’s back in Harry’s house after having slept in Harry’s bed because the man doesn’t have a damn guest bedroom.  Eggsy drops the paper and runs to the door to shuffle his shoes on.  He doesn’t bother lacing them before darting out the door into the car.

He parks haphazardly in front of the shop and barely remembers to lock the car before rushing inside.  Daniel looks up and gives him a disapproving look.

“I need to see Merlin,” Eggsy demands, “You ‘ave to let me in, please.”

Daniel looks bemused at his demand but tips his head to Dressing Room 1.

“The elevator will be active in 15 seconds.”

Eggsy says a hasty thank you to Daniel as he barrels through the dressing room door.  He’s barely shut the door before the floor lurches and starts to sink.  The ride down seems longer than Eggsy remembers and he fidgets his way across the room, counting seconds in his head.

He jumps out of the elevator as soon as there’s enough space for him to slide his body through.  The ride to the handler branch feels like it takes forever, the space too small for Eggsy to pace.  He taps his fingers against his legs, against the armrest.

The door’s just locking into place when Eggsy leaps out and startles Merlin from where he’s monitoring something.

“Eggsy,” Merlin says in surprise, “What are you doing here?”

“Where’s Harry,” Eggsy asks.

“Harry? He’s on the plane.  Eggsy, what’s wrong?” Merlin asks.

“He can’ fucking go to Kentucky,” Eggsy says, “Valentine’s gonna kill ‘im.  He’s gonna make Harry kill all the people in the church and ven he’s gonna kill Harry.”

“Eggsy, sit down.  You’re about to vibrate out of your skin.”

Eggsy obediently slides into the seat next to Merlin’s.  But his fingers keep twitching against the chair and Merlin takes a moment to put together a cup of chamomile for the lad.

“Drink,” He orders, “And then start from the beginning.”

Eggsy slugs back the tea, uncaring of how it burns his mouth, and sets the cup down with more force than strictly necessary before explaining.

“I fink it’s a dream, I dunno though, now do I?  It was fuckin’ tomorrow and Harry got killed in that church by Valentine and I killed Chester and then you made me be Chester so we could stop Valentine and people’s heads blew up and fucking hell, the man put fireworks in their heads, and then there was that princess who went missing and I killed Gazelle and Valentine and—”

“Eggsy.  Breathe.”

Eggsy sucks in a breath and lets it out noisily.

“Are you sure you didn’t just dream this up?”

The look Eggsy sends him is positively lethal.

“Right, then,” Merlin pushes up his glasses, “So what you’re telling me, is that you’ve somehow gone back in time.”

“I don’ fucking know,” Eggsy grits out, “But Valentine’s fucking chips send out some aggression signal and Harry is gonna die in ‘at church if we don’ do somefing.”

Merlin turns away from Eggsy and taps out a line that pops up green on his screen.  A dot pops up at the end of it, blinking red.  Merlin waits for it to turn green before speaking.

“Galahad.”

“Merlin?  What the devil is the matter?  I have six hours left on this bloody plane ride and I intended to spend them sleeping,” Harry sounds sleep rumpled and distinctly unhappy with being woken.

“There’s been new intel,” Merlin says carefully, cutting a glance at Eggsy, “The cards apparently transmit a signal that boosts aggression and Valentine intends to test his SIM cards out at the church.  If you go, you’ll be caught in the signal zone.”

Harry is quiet for a long moment, before he replies.

“Very well, I suppose you have a hotel booked for me?”

“Of course.  You’ll be staying in the…quaint Motel 8.”

Harry’s groan at this information is clear through the mic and Merlin’s smile at the sound is not entirely altruistic.

***

“Oh my word,” Merlin says as he watches the footage of the churchgoers slaughtering one another.

“Galahad, are you seeing this?”

“Unfortunately.”

Eggsy flinches back as the pastor hacks off the head of a man and blinks rapidly to clear the image from his mind.  Merlin turns the sound down and they watch as the pastor stumbles around and blinks at the carnage around him.  He tosses the axe away from him and looks down at his hands in horror.

“Christ above,” Harry breathes, “It’s like he couldn’t stop.”

The door to the room opens and Gazelle steps through, neatly closing the door behind her.

“Valentine would like to extend his apologies for using your church as the test site,” She says as she bounds fluidly over an overturned bench.

She stalks forward until she’s in front of the shaking pastor and she smiles.

“But your help is greatly appreciated,” She says and swings her leg up.

The pastor’s head goes flying and Gazelle neatly whips her blade across the body, leaving blood colored streaks across the front of the suit.  She has both feet, blades clean and shining, back on the ground before the body hits the floor.

“Is the kingsman there?”

Valentine’s voice precedes him and the man comes in, his hands over his eyes.

“You really need to get over this aversion to blood,” Gazelle remarks, “It’s not very useful for doomsday plans.”

She scans the room quickly, “And the kingsman is not here.”

“Dammit,” Valentine says, “Fine, move the countdown up.  We can’t risk him stopping us.”

Gazelle nods and bounds back over to where Valentine is standing.  She directs him back through the door and out of the church.

“Chester.  You said.”

“Huh?” Eggsy startles at the sound of Merlin’s voice.

“You said you killed Chester,” Merlin clarifies.

“Yeah, he’s gone over to Valentine’s side.”

“Then I suppose you and I should pay Arthur a visit.”

***

“What is the meaning of this?” Chester sounds outraged and fury is written into every line of his face.

“I just need to take a look at your neck,” Merlin says, calm and firm.

“You would assume that I would betray my people?”

“You fucking did,” Eggsy shouts, his anger bursting through.  This is the man who was responsible for Harry’s death and the reason that Eggsy might have to see Harry die again.

And Eggsy’s going to fucking kill Chester King.

“Eggsy, calm down,” Merlin says, turning to address him.

Eggsy sees the outline of a gun when Merlin’s cardigan pulls tight across his side and he lunges for it.  Merlin’s surprise at the sudden movement lasts long enough for Eggsy to grab the gun, unlock the safety, and line up the barrel with Arthur’s head.  The crack of a gunshot rings out in the small room and Arthur’s head jerks back with the impact of the bullet.

“…Christ, Eggsy,” Merlin breathes out.

“There’s an implant,” Eggsy says, “In his neck.  I can fucking get i’ out.  I did i’ once already.”

He grabs the pen lying in front of Arthur and twists the cap off to reveal the tip.  Eggsy stabs it into the scar on Arthur’s neck with far more force than needed.  The implant pops out and Eggsy holds it up for Merlin to see.  There’s a stretch of silence as Merlin stares at the small chip between Eggsy’s fingers and then he turns away, ordering Lancelot to report to the dining room.

***

“They made you one of these suits yet, Rox?” Eggsy says as he watches Roxy fidget with the controls of the yellow contraption.  Even after hearing Merlin say its name a second time, Eggsy still isn’t a hundred percent sure what it’s actually called

“No.”

She’s pouting a bit when she answers, but Eggsy ignores it in favor of smiling at her.

“You got something to look forward then to,” He grabs her hand and squeezes it.

“Well, I’d better come back then,” She says with a small smile.

“Yeah, you damn fucking right you gonna come back,” Eggsy says.

“Lancelot, Eggsy, we have to go now.”

Eggsy lets go of Roxy’s hand and stands there watching her for a second longer before darting back into the plane.

“Since you’ve already done this once, you know that you’re going to have to be Chester King.”

Eggsy nods, “Know how to put on my suit now too.”

Merlin scoffs at that and tilts his head towards the back of the plane, “Bathroom’s in the back.”

***

Punching Charlie in the face feels just as good the second time as it did the first.  Only, this time, he doesn’t bother running back to the plane, even though Merlin’s shouting in his ear.

He flicks the grenade on and hurls it at the command center.  The little golden lighter spins over the air and hits the glass.  The heat of the explosion rolls all the way to where Eggsy is standing on the other side of the room.  Eggsy can hear screaming from below, but all he cares about is whether or not Valentine is still alive.

When the smoke from the blast clears, two forms become clearly visible.  The first is Gazelle, slightly sooty, with rage pulling her mouth into a snarl.  The second is the body of Richmond, slumped onto the floor, burnt and cut.

Gazelle screams, a wordless animalistic thing that sends a horrific shudder down Eggsy’s spine.  She charges out of the control center and springs off the tables before heaving herself over the rail to spin and slash at Eggsy.

The first time fighting Gazelle was hard enough, but here, on a small walk barely wide enough for two people to stand side by side, it’s much harder.  Gazelle isn’t playing around anymore, not with the way Eggsy can see hatred burning in her eyes.  He dodges one blow and then there’s a sudden point of pain in his right shoulder.  He looks down to see Gazelle’s other blade skewered through him.  A terrible smile cuts across her face and she launches herself into a spin.

The motion grinds the blade around and Eggsy bites down on the pain that flares up.  He barely dodges the blade of her free foot and somehow manages to wrench the blade embedded in his shoulder out of him before gasping wetly.

“Eggsy, get out of there, now!”

Merlin’s voice bursts through the pain and Eggsy flings himself off the rail, narrowly dodging another kick from Gazelle and squashing a rather portly man (that looks a lot like the prime minister, now that he thinks about it) on his landing.

“Eggsy, breathe,” Harry’s voice comes through and suddenly Eggsy’s vision tunnels down to Harry’s instructions.

He doesn’t care that there’s blood soaking his suit and that the edges of his vision are going black.  Harry is talking to him, telling him things that he doesn’t understand but his body is certainly following.  He watches, in a strange sort of detached way, himself leap off the wall to knock a merc down before sprinting down the corridor.  Eggsy watches his hands bring up the gun he stole off a merc and fire it with an empty click.  He watches Merlin shoot the guards down and he blindly follows Merlin’s shouted instruction, followed up by Harry’s firm order, to get in the plane.

“Merlin, you look strange, yeah?”

Merlin pauses from where he’s about to duck into the cockpit.

“Strange, how?”

“All blurry,” Eggsy slurs, “Like you isn’t really all here.”

“Fuck,” Merlin swears, “Eggsy, fucking hell, Eggsy stay awake.”

Eggsy nods but it’s really hard to keep his head up.  And Merlin’s starting to look dimmer, like the lights are slowly going off and thank god for Merlin knowing when Eggsy just wants the lights off.  The room continues to go black and Eggsy lets himself sleep.

***

He startles awake, panic rocketing his heart rate through the roof.

“Eggsy.”

Eggsy turns to the side as much as the brace against his neck and shoulder will allow, following the voice.  Harry is sitting in one of those uncomfortable visitor’s chairs and he looks relieved.  Eggsy slowly becomes aware of something warm enveloping his left hand and he glances down to see Harry’s hand gripping his.  His thumb is rubbing small circles into the juncture of Eggys’s thumb and forefinger and Eggsy manages a shaky smile when Harry doesn’t draw back.

“Saved the worl’, now din’ I?”

“Yes you did, Eggsy,” Hary says softly, but Eggsy can hear the pride loud and clear as a trumpet call, “Yes, you did, my darling boy.”

Eggsy closes his eyes, the few moments of being awake exhausting him terribly.  The last thing he feels before he gives in to sleep is the press of Harry’s lips to his forehead.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here begins the angst.
> 
> Also, suicide warning.

Eggsy startles awake, blinking rapidly to clear the darkness away.  It doesn’t leave and he tells himself the nurses left the lights off.  It’s a paltry lie and Eggsy tries desperately to believe it.  He gropes blindly for Harry’s hand and tears threaten when he can’t find it.  He sits up and takes in what he can see.

There’s a whole lot of black and the fucking alarm clock, with its glowing red numbers announcing 11:43, barely illuminating the corner of the curtain.  Eggsy stumbles out of the bed and pulls the curtain away.  The grey London sky mocks him and the mews stretch out in front of him.

Eggsy lets the curtain fall and punches the wall, swearing violently when pain lances up his hand.  There’s going to be a bruise later, he’s sure of it, but he can live with a bruise.  The fourth step down creaks as he descends the stairs and Mr. Pickles stares dolefully at him from above the toilet.

The only good thing is that Eggsy no longer has a hole in his shoulder.  But he would gladly trade that wound to have Harry kissing his forehead and holding his hand.  The check he gives the newspaper is perfunctory, he’s pretty sure he knows what day it is and it isn’t any better now than it was yesterday.

Yesterday?

Or today?

Or is it actually tomorrow?

“Don’t fucking matter,” Eggsy mutters.  And then he’s out the door, still dragging his jacket on, to head to the handler branch.

***

Eggsy opens with “I swear to fucking god, Merlin, if you don’ le’ me go after Harry, I’ll fuckin’ steal a plane.”

Merlin looks up in surprise and then sighs.

“I’d say no if I didn’t know you were perfectly capable of stealing a vehicle,” Merlin says.

“Merlin, you gotta le’ me go,” Eggsy begs.

Merlin looks up from the console and really takes in Eggsy.  He’s never heard the lad sound so desperate.  Eggsy looks haunted and slightly like he’s about to strangle Merlin if the word no leaves his mouth.

“Eggsy,” Merlin says, trying to get a feel for the waters, “Why do you need to go?”

“Harry’s gonna die if he goes in that church,” Eggsy blurts out.

“Then he simply doesn’t go into the church,” Merlin says slowly.  Worry is creeping up his spine as he watches Eggsy get more and more agitated.  There’s a moment where Merlin thinks Eggsy is about to bolt for the plane hangar.

But Eggsy simply shakes his head and takes a step back.

“You don’ get it,” Eggsy says, “Tried that, yesterday.  Weren’t enough.”

“What do you mean yesterday?  Eggsy, what’s happening?”

“Merlin, just fucking trust me, yeah?  I swear, I ain’t never lied ‘bout nothin’ this important.”

“Eggsy, calm down,” Merlin reaches up and pulls Eggsy into the chair next to him.

“Now, what’s going on?”

***

Merlin doesn’t believe him; Eggsy can see it in his face.

“You don’t have to believe me,” Eggsy says, “It’s fine.”

It’s not.

“I don’t,” Merlin admits, “But, I do think you’re going to steal a plane and you don’t know how to fly one.  Since I don’t want to be the one to explain to Harry why you’re a burning wreck, you can have one.  There’s even a pilot.”

He taps out a command and then turns back to regard Eggsy for a moment before turning away to rummage in a drawer.  The elevator pings and the doors slide open to reveal Daniel.  He’s carrying a leather case that he places on Merlin’s desk.

“As requested,” He says, “If there are any more requests for tonight, David will be fielding them.  Good night, gentlemen.”

“Thank you, Daniel,” Merlin says.  Daniel nods and retreats back to the elevator.  The doors slide shut and there’s a moment of silence, save for Merlin shuffling through the drawer.  Finally, he emerges with a slim case in hand.

He pushes the leather case towards Eggsy and places the smaller hard case on top.

“Your suit,” He says, “Harry said to give it to you for your first mission, but I think you’ll need it now.  And your glasses.”

“Thanks, Merlin, you’s aces, you is.”

Merlin nods and points to a small curtained area, “Dressing room through there.”

He turns back to his screens as Eggsy lopes off to change.  There’s a SIM card down in the tech labs currently being dissected by some engineers.  So far, Merlin’s got a report of “it transmits some kind of signal”, which is quite possibly the least useful description he’s ever gotten about a piece of tech.  But if Eggsy’s right about what it can do, they’ve got to act fast.

The curtain shuffles back and Merlin turns to face Eggsy.

“Looking good, Eggsy,” He says.

Eggsy smiles at that, “Feeling good, Merlin.”

“Now get your arse out to the hangar, your pilot’s waiting.”

***

Harry’s waiting for him when he lands.

“Eggsy,” He says, nodding slightly.

“Harry,” Eggsy nods in return.  Something swells up in him at seeing Harry Hart alive and whole and Eggsy stamps down on an urge to clutch at Harry and bury his face in his suit, just to surround himself with the scent of Harry’s stupidly expensive cologne.

“I suppose you’ll be informing me of how you convinced Merlin to let you fly out here?”

“I’m helpin’, yeah?  Backup, y’know,” Eggsy trails off in the face of Harry’s inscrutable expression.

“I came to apologize?”

Harry sighs at that and shakes his head, “No, I should be apologizing for yelling.  I should have known you wouldn’t be able to do it.”

He smiles fondly and reaches up to clasp Eggsy’s shoulder, “Your heart is too big for that.”

Eggsy thinks, fuck it, and drops into a hug.  Harry stiffens in surprise but he puts his arms around Eggsy’s shoulders.  They stay like that, Eggsy clutching Harry as tightly as he can just to make sure this is all real.

“Sorry,” Eggsy says when he pulls back.  “It’s been a long day.”

“Why don’t you tell me about it on our way over to the church?”

***

He spills everything to Harry, going back for parts he misses and generally sure he sounds like a crazy mess.  Harry looks pensive at the end of it but he doesn’t outright scoff at Eggsy so he’s taking that as a momentary win.

“You can’t go in that church,” Eggsy says desperately.  “You’ll kill them all and then Valentine’ll kill you.”

“Eggsy,” Harry says calmly, “I will not be taken by surprise now that I am aware of his plans.”

“Harry, you fuckin’ wanker,” Eggsy shouts, shoves forward until he’s straddling Harry, “Fuckin’ listen to me, please.”

He grabs Harry’s head between his hands and forces the older man to look at him.

“Please,” He begs, “Don’t go.”

Harry’s eyes soften and he brings a hand up to cup Eggsy’s jaw.  His thumb rubs circles against Eggsy’s cheek and for a moment Eggsy can make himself believe that Harry will listen.

“A Kingsman always completes his mission,” Harry says quietly and Eggsy almost breaks down then and there, almost cries at the way he can feel his world crumbling already.

But he manages a shaky smile and says, “And you’s a Kingsman before you’s anything else.”

“That I am, dear boy, that I am,” Harry says and Eggsy’s heart splits in two.

***

Harry refuses to let Eggsy into the church with him.

“You stay in the car.  It’s lined with a material that will cancel any transmitter signal that is not of Kingsman origin,” Harry explains.

“Stay with me,” Eggsy pleads, “All you gotta do.  Harry, c’mon.  Just stay.”

Harry shakes his head and gets out of the car.  Eggsy, suddenly incandescently furious, rolls down the window as Harry pauses for a moment outside the car to straighten his suit and glasses.

“You’re a right fuckin’ wanker, y’know that?” Eggsy snaps, “You think you’ve got somefin’ to prove, goin’ in there.  You don’t gotta prove anything.  You can just stay in the fuckin’ car and we can wait for it to be over.  You’re fuckin’ human, Harry, and that signal’s gonna affect you just as much as them fuckheads in there.”

“Duty,” Harry says, “Is paramount to Kingsman.”

“What about me?” Eggsy says, “Ain’t I part of that duty?  The one where you repay my dad?  How the fuck you gonna do that duty when you’re lying cold on the ground?”

“Roll up the window,” Harry says and leaves, effectively ending the conversation.

Eggsy rolls up the window, turning the crank with far more force than necessary.  He slouches low into the seat and tracks Harry’s progress across the parking lot with ill grace.

“Eggsy,” Merlin begins.

“If you gonna tell me that Harry won’ listen to anyone,” Eggsy says, “Then you can stop.”

The comm is silent and Eggsy huffs.

“The fuck is duty worth when you’s dead?” Eggsy mutters against the window as he settles in to wait.

***

He’s halfway through a level of Angry Birds when Valentine and Gazelle come striding into the lot with two guards in tow.  Eggsy slouches down further, until he can just barely see over the lip of the window.  Gazelle says something and Valentine throws his head back to laugh.  She leans into his side and Valentine puts an arm around her shoulder, which makes her smile.

Eggsy wants to shoot them both.  His fingers twitch towards the gun in the glove box.  If he times it right, he can get both Gazelle and Valentine before they even notice him.  And then he and Harry can take on the guards.  It’s a shit plan and it relies on luck that Eggsy isn’t sure he’s got, but he can try anyway.  He shifts the gun out of the glove box and tucks it into the waistband of his suit.

He presses on the unlock button, wincing slightly when it clicks.  The sound is so loud inside the emptiness of the car, but Eggsy’s sure that Valentine and Gazelle haven’t heard it.  They haven’t so much as glanced in his direction.  Eggsy pushes the door open slowly and he freezes when Harry walks out of the church.

“Ah, Valentine, I was told you might be waiting for me when I came out of there.”

“Mr. DeVere,” Valentine says jovially, “So good to see you again.”

Harry’s smile is a sardonic thing, “I wish I could say the same of seeing you.”

“Now, you make it sound like you aren’t excited to see me,” Valentine says, shaking his head.

He looks down at Gazelle, “It sounds like he isn’t excited to see me.”

“He isn’t,” Gazelle says flatly.

“That wounds me,” Valentine says, shock written all over his features.  Gazelle shrugs nonchalantly but her stance tightens when Harry makes the slightest movement.

“Well, Mr. DeVere, I should probably say that I’m happy to see you so that I can do this.”

The gunshot cracks through the parking lot and Eggsy is out of the car in a flash, his heart threatening to beat out of his chest.  Harry is on the ground, blood pouring out of his skull.  Eggsy howls, rage and pain crashing over his world, and pulls the gun from his waistband.  Gazelle’s head snaps up from where she’s comforting Valentine and her eyes narrow as they take him in.

Eggsy can feel the tears tracking down his face but he pulls the safety and fires.  The shot goes clean through her shoulder when she covers Valentine’s body with her own and she snarls at him.  He squeezes the trigger again and she dodges the second one neatly, heedless of the first wound.

“Go,” She shouts and pushes Valentine towards the other guards.

Rage fills Eggsy and his vision narrows down to Valentine being gathered up by his guards.  He can’t let Valentine go, can’t let the man who shot Harry leave alive. 

Eggsy ignores the way Gazelle is charging towards him and lines up the barrel with Valentine and shoots, empties his entire magazine into Valentine’s skull.  Gazelle shrieks terribly and Eggsy barely manages to drop to the ground in time to avoid her blade.  It destroys the window of the car instead and glass rains down, crunching underfoot as Eggsy scrambles to avoid the downswing.  He sprints for the guards, who are torn between fumbling for their guns and checking on Valentine, and manages to snap the neck of one before the other catches on.  Eggsy swipes the gun from the dead guard and shoots the other one in the face.  He scoops up the other gun and spins around.

Gazelle’s blade slices his cheek and his tears sting the open cut.  Eggsy brings the guns up as she pulls back her leg and empties both of them into her abdomen on autopilot.  Gazelle stumbles back, coughing, dark red spilling from her mouth as she drops to the ground.  The guns fall from Eggsy’s numb, shaking hands and he lurches to the side.  He grasps the side view mirror of the nearest car and hunches over to vomit, his stomach heaving from the sight of blood on her mouth and hatred in her eyes.

“Breathe,” Merlin orders, “In through your nose and out through your mouth.  Slowly.”

Eggsy obeys mindlessly, following the sound of Merlin counting off steadily in his ear.  When his lungs finally stop feeling too tight for his chest and he can gulp air without his throat locking, he pushes himself to his feet.

He stumbles over to Harry and falls to his knees.  The gravel lot digs into his knees and Eggsy ignores it to reach shaking hands forward.

“No, no, no, no,” Eggsy sobs, “You wasn’t supposed to die, you…”

“Eggsy,” Merlin’s voice is soft in his ear and Eggsy ignores it.

He sweeps Harry’s hair back and runs shivering fingers over his temples.  He moves his hands down to press against where there should be a pulse point, where the skin is growing colder, and wills it to beat to life.

“Harry, c’mon, wake up,” Eggsy begs. “You hafta wake up, you was gonna tell me ‘bout bein’ a gentleman.  Harry, wake the fuck up.”

“Eggsy, he’s not going to wake up,” Merlin says.

“You don’ know that,” Eggsy shouts.  He presses his forehead to Harry’s chest and sobs.

“You don’ fuckin’ know that.”

He cries until Harry’s suit is soaked and his eyes feel swollen and puffy.  Merlin has to talk him through breathing again before the heaving in his chest subsides.   Eggsy takes in shaking breaths to a count of seven, inhaling the scent of Harry’s cologne, spice and musk and tea, on each quivering breath.   When he looks up, the sky is dark and the streetlamps surrounding the parking lot have flickered to life.  Eggsy shivers and shoves his hands into his pockets.  One of them hits on something and he draws it out to find a lighter, the same one he pretended to put back when Harry caught him out in dressing room three.

Eggsy stares at the little golden rectangle and wonders briefly if it hurts at all to burn or if it’ll be instantaneous.

“Merlin?”

“Eggsy, hold on, the extraction team will be there in three minutes,” Merlin says.

“Merlin,” Eggsy turns to the sky and lets the inky blackness fill his vision.  “What happens when I die?  Do you still take care of me mum and Daisy?”

“Generally,” Merlin answers, “We provide a stipend for the average work span of a Kingsman agent, which comes out to be about 15 years.”

“And a house, yeah?”

“A house is always provided.”

“Merlin?”

Merlin hums distractedly and Eggsy can hear the dull tap of his fingers against his desk.  Probably arranging the extraction that Eggsy won’t need.  Eggsy smooths down the lapels of Harry’s suit and tugs his jacket straight.  Once he’s satisfied with how Harry looks, he stands and moves back to the car to slide into the passenger seat.  He shuts the door and closes his eyes for a moment to just breathe in the cooling night air flowing in through the broken window.

“Take care of me mum and Daisy, yeah?”  Eggsy says and turns the lighter in his hands to watch the lights glint off it.  A sleek black car pulls up into the lot and Eggsy thinks numbly, _extraction._

He flicks the lighter open and it starts to beep.

That gets Merlin’s attention.

“Eggsy, don’t—”

The lighter explodes.


End file.
